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In my twenties I suffered from ulcers,
And after returning from drinking I would
Christen the porcelain with blood.
Melodramatic, I thought I was dying.
So I found myself a doctor
Who stuck a metal snake into my stomach.
"It won't hurt," he said,
"You won't remember a thing."
I did. It did.
Then they wanted to go lower and
To prep me a big fat black nurse
Stuck a plastic something up there,
Two doctors found me minutes later
Passed out cold, covered in sweat.
They revived me, but
I still ran in circles
For two hours in white pain.
The bill was for a 110 dollars
And though I knew I'd been fucked
It just hadn't been that good.
So when women say no
I don't say a thing.
Thirst and Consequences © 2002 by Eric Green
Published by Doctor True House Press
All rights reserved.